Change A behavior
Most people have some kind of choice they keep making over and over again which they know isn't helping them. But it is really hard to change these habits!
Your body's hard-wiring would rather remain miserable than face the uncertainty of change. But you can override that hard-wiring using Emotion Processing, meditation, and other techniques. Keep reading to learn to activate your Agency to start making the choices that get the results you want!
Let's Get to It! | Here's What to Do:
1 - Process Emotions
2 - Use Meditation
3 - Apply Daily Maintenance
Unhelpful behavior patterns like habits and addictions are often fueled by the emotions connected to some kind of trauma or perceived deficiency. In a quiet place, go deep inside yourself and request that the emotions related to your behavior pattern will come forth. When they come up, use Tapping, "Write & Destroy", or another technique to Process Them.
We're prepared a 15 minute guided meditation to help you change your behavior pattern.
If you're a patron of 13 Seasons on Patreon, you can access a recording of the meditation. If you aren't a patron, you can access the script of the meditation and have someone read it to you (or you could record yourself reading it and play it back to yourself).
Do the meditation. Take notes on your experience.
Read our page on Create Solutions and write down how you'll use each of the four principles there to change your habit. Then, make a plan as to what you'll do each day to make the change. Here are some ideas for your plan:
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Make time each day to process more of the emotions behind the habit. Even five minutes of this each day makes a big difference.
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Process your ancestors' emotions related to this pattern (just imagine yourself as your ancestor as you do the emotion processing technique). It may be beneficial to set aside a set time each day to process emotions (even 5 minutes makes a big difference).
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Do each of these three meditations each day (spread throughout the day):​​
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When you feel a strong desire or temptation to engage with the behavior you're trying to change, do one of the following:
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If appropriate in the moment, use tapping to process the feelings behind the urge.
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Make a mental shift: choose to be aware of yourself as the Consciousness who is aware of the urge, rather than the identifying as the one who has the urge.
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When you give in to the urge to repeat the behavior, make time to process any emotions of guilt and shame along with more of the emotions that fuel the behavior. See this as opportunity to get closer to the root of those emotions. Smile and keep doing the daily maintenance.
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Set phone reminders to do your plan. You can also ask a friend to hold you accountable.
Finally, you can also do this 5 minute guided maintenance meditation each day. As with the previous meditation, you can access a recording if you are a patron on our Patreon or have someone read the script to you. Do this meditation each day to maintain the change.
Will This Help with major Addictions?
These techniques can help with any sort of repeated behavior patterns. It has been our experience that "major addictions" like drugs or pornography and "unhelpful habits" like overeating and picking your nose have the same root causes.
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That said, these steps are not intended as a replacement for programs and professionals who specialize in specific types of addiction. Rather, we recommend using these techniques as a supplement for the help you receive from specialists.
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And one more thing: keep in mind that there are so many little unhelpful things we do that act like addictions. Have you considered whether you might want to heal from an addiction to stress? An addiction to drama? An addiction to worry? An addiction to thinking? These techniques can help with any of those!
